Had I known this was a sequel to GET SHORTY I would have thought twice about going to see it. I didn’t see the aforementioned movie, and even though I wouldn’t have needed to, it still pisses me off that this movie was part 2 of something pointless to begin with.

I wont get into why, but seeing Travolta trying to get a groove on to the hot singer chick was pathetic at best. Uma looked good as always. Nice ass. They danced together too WOW, like I didn’t see that coming. Getting a little nostalgic from the days of Pulp Fiction maybe? Stupid.

It wasn’t a total disappointment. Lots of GUNS and stuff. Bat bashers, the Russian Mafia, and a gang led by the Cedric dude. He’s funny - reminds me of a fatter version of Martin Lawrence with his facial expressions. The braided head dude was good too. Sort of an over zealous type who just wants to impress Cedric and his friends. Every gang has one.

The whole story focuses on Travolta wanting to get out of the movie biz, then James Woods gets his shit shot off, and that’s a cool scene. Next thing you know, Vince Vaughn is acting like a ghetto fake, and THE ROCK is an ass-slapping gay body guard whose only talent is raising his eyebrow. Everyone in the movie has a SIDEKICK cell phone, and I think they were paid by someone for that... I mean it’s pretty blatant so, whatever.

The black singer chick is HOT and I felt all sloppy when she was on stage in the beginning. Travolta gets her out of her contract and that’s when all the shit hits the fan. Harvey Keitel is in this one too. I thought he would be tougher, but he’s sort of a puss too. Not his fault - he’s around some real homos.

Of course in the end (skipping a lot of nonsense here for your sake, the reader) the singer gets her deal by way of Steve Tyler and a ton of people die - the hit man chokes on a sandwich, and then gets a aluminum bat in his ass. Fun. This is in no particular order - that’s how I felt when I came out of there, so that’s how I’m reporting it. OK?

This movie had a lot of big names in it, but it still only deserves a 2, and those 2 points are for the young hot singers’ boobs. Wait for the DVD, and then fast forward to her.

OVERALL: 2

BACK TO MOVIESLIKEHELL