Mr. and Mrs. Smith
6-11-2005

 

Brad Pitt and angelina Jolie. Do I have to go on? I should have played the lead role because Angelina looks good with me behind her. Well, that is what I dreamt anyway. So, these two spies somehow get together and get married because they are perfect fro each other. Each are unbelievably busy people with bullshit alibis for what they do all day with themselves. They are hitmen (or hit women, or hitpersons... who gives a shit) So.. There are all sorts of cool toys and shit, but the dialog is sort of stupid even though the movie is fun.

Reasons to see it:
  • Angelina Jolies boobs
  • Angelina's Ass
  • Angelina's legs
  • Guns
  • Toys/other weapons
  • Watching Pitt get beat up by a girl
Reasons not to see it:
  • Brad Pitts ass
  • Shitty dialog
  • No sexual scenes including Angelina Jolie (w/ me)
  • No one ever said the word "fuck" (wtf?)

So.. as you can imagine, the couple is dodging their real life responsibilities through the first hour - in the beginning they are in a marriage counselor meeting and its pretty stupid. But this is where stupid actors shine! There are a ton weapons, explosions and fighting, so that's not to bad. I don't really remember a lot of this movie.. only that Jolies boobs took up the whole screen, and I had to go to the bathroom twice to deal with it. Anyway, its worth seeing once if you like either actors. If you don't, well, then go fuck yourself. Oh, one last thing... fuck you.

Haha, I lied, I still have some things to say about this movie - firstly they are a fake couple to begin with, and don't really have sex (thank God) and then, during the movie they discover they really do care for each other - you know like a shitty teen movie where one kid hires a chick to be his slut.. that type of thing. Anyway, that's that the director wanted: a relationship movie but with explosions and dead people. Nice mix, only this happens in real life all the time, doesn't it? Oh, except for the part where I have sex with Angelina.

OVERALL: 6

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